FO: Swirl Socks

The pattern is Swirl Socks be Sulafaye, knit as a Christmas present for my brother. I have such bad luck with Christmas knitting and finishing on a deadline. Though at least he will have his knitting within the year. My poor mother is still waiting for her shawl that I started in 2006.

Easy knitting for the most part: my standard sock with the one stitch cable stitch pattern. Ended up a bit muddy, so I want to try again with different yarn. Now all I need to do is mail them out with detailed care instructions and a dire threat that if he doesn’t follow my detailed care instructions, he will end up with felted socks that don’t fit.

I never thought I’d see my brother in a yarn store, but I wanted him to like his socks so I let him pick the pattern and dragged him along to find yarn. Surprisingly, there was actually very little dragging necessary and I left him fondling the sock yarn while I picked up needles. He was doing what all knitters in a yarn store do: touching everything and going “Oooo, pretty!” even though he’d already found his yarn

Apparently there is at least a little bit of knitter in my brother.

Sock Theory

I’m going to be silly for a moment. I’ve been meaning to post about my socks for some time and since I am steadfastly ignoring graduation on Sunday, now is the time.

I have a theory. My theory is that bad days can become good days with the help of a collection of special socks. Much like a boring class can be overcome by using a pen with feathers coming off the top or ink that changes color, special socks help add an extra bit of sparkle to your day. I have been gathering special socks for about a year or so and I’ve gathered quite a pile of them. Some have names, some aren’t finished yet, some have actual bits of sparkle. So without further ado I give you:

From Left to Right:

My collection of Christmas socks: Snowman Sock #1, Santa Sock #1, Snowman Sock #2 and Santa Sock #2. Snowman #2 is cooler than #1 because he has sunglasses. Snowman #1 is cooler than #2 because he’s more comfortable.

Unicorn Sock. Appeals to the six year old in me. They are much brighter blue in person.

Garish Sock. Half of the strips are sparkly. All of the colors are ridiculous.

My Lucky Socks and my Halloween Socks. My first set of special socks. Work when I need luck and when I feel a desire for very bright orange. Unfortunately, there are holes forming in Halloween Socks so I need to fix them before I wear them more.

Courage Socks. So named because they have actual bits of sparkle in them and because I wore them once when I needed to be courageous and I thought some actual bits of sparkle would help.

Fire Socks. My dear fire socks, my first socks knit by hand. Very soft, fit like a glove for my feet and so comfortable. Also, they look really good with jeans.

Still on the needles, Cyber Socks. Named as a reference to the Doctor Who villain Cybermen. They are a toe of pretty, a body of soft and a sock that will never die. Cobbled together with remnants of the pretty yarn from the fire socks and really soft yarn that I can’t remember the name for. They will be finished very very soon.

And lastly, not appearing in this picture socks, Bunny Sock. The bunny peeks over the top of my shoes. I never thought I would say that socks are cute, but these one’s are.

So those are my bright socks for gray days. Do you have any special socks?

Knitting to recovery

Working on the beading/knitting project has reminded me how much crafting has helped me in my recovery of depression and self injury.

I learned how to knit at the end of my freshman year of college. I was just realizing that I could get help, that I didn’t need to be the way I was. Something was wrong and I could take steps to fix it. My very close friend came over to keep me company the night before I was leaving with her knitting project and extra yarn and needles and taught me how to knit. She doesn’t know it, but it was the best gift she could ever give me.

That summer I started a blanket of garter stitch squares and whenever I felt sad, or an urge to hurt myself, I picked up the project and knit furiously. I spent most of my free time that summer knitting.

The next year I made the decision to return to counseling on my own and went through it on my own. I was so scared that I brought my knitting with me to keep my hands busy in the waiting room. Keeping my hands busy has always been the best thing for me.

That same year when I was on the borderline between sane and suicidal I started knitting a stuffed loch ness monster. As I was falling towards the suicidal edge of the line I told myself that I couldn’t do anything yet because I was in the middle of a knitting project. I told myself to hold on until the project was done and then reassess the situation.

I never finished. I completed the knitting, seamed it, stuffed it and closed him up (his name is Ernest, by the way) gave him a scarf and hat and waited for the weekend to catch a bus to the mall to get eyes and finish him. He now lives on my bed at home and he is eyeless. I won’t consider him finished until he can see and I never intend on letting that happen. My situation has changed since then; I’m no longer dancing between sanity and suicide. I keep him unfinished because until he’s done, the promise to myself is still in place, another layer of security between me and my very worst.

No one knows this and writing it out is a bit scary for me, but it serves as a reminder to myself and I hope other people can make the same sort of promise or realize that sometimes those urges to harm can be made into something constructive.

I’m still not recovered. I have my setbacks and whenever I feel particularly vulnerable I bake or bring out the knitting. It’s nice to know that my depression can turn to creation.

Sparkle

I recently come across a list of ribbon awareness colors. I’ve also had this bauble pattern waiting to be created when I had time. As I was looking through the awareness colors, the two ideas come together. I would create my own awareness bracelet. Even if no one realized what it was, it would help me feel more open and honest. And so I created.

This has turned into a really special project for me. It has kept me busy over the last couple of days which were really difficult to get through.

The main color is green, for depression. The secondary color is orange for self injury. I know the beads look sort of brown, but they’re meant to be orange. Tertiary is yellow, for suicide awareness. It’s really hard to tell that they’re yellow because I had to choose a really light bead color to match the green, but there’s yellow in there. The fourth bead type I have in there is a clear crystal, meant to be white. I read somewhere that orange and alot of white was a recovered self injurer and that orange and one white was still in recovery. I can’t remember where I read that, so I can’t reference it, but I included it anyway.

It turned out really well. It’s a little bigger than I would like due to an extra row for finishing, but it’s very shiny.